Who Would Jesus Shoot? UPDATED after Virginia Tech Shooting

This was first posted in October 13, 2005. After another round of school shootings. Today I'm reposting an update:

Virginia Tech Shooting, April 16 2007
This time around I'd like the parents of the dead children to talk personally with the NRA spokespeople. You want answers. Why did this happen? What forces are in place to make this kind of violence happen?
Don't bother asking the gun man why, he's dead. Talk to these people. They have answers (If you audio tape your phone call be sure to ask for permission first.)

The NRA spokespeople are the best in the world.

To contact an NRA spokesperson call them: Their PR firms is listed here: Here is the link to their results for NRA).

Shirley & Banister Public Affairs (link)
703 739-5920
800 536-5920
info@sbpublicaffairs.com They are even in Virginia!

Ask for Diana Banister or Craig Shirley

(FYI: Diane is the one who does music for churches so if you are interested in the Christian angle to gun violence she probably is the one to talk to.)

I'm not kidding when I say these people are the world's best trained spokespeople, they are prepared to offer soothing sound bites for the parents of the dead. If you are in the media don't just talk to them one on one, you should really get them on the line together with friends and relatives of the dead. (And if you do talk to them please let us know what they say, we'll post the replies. I'll bet they are great and will be useful for other people to read.)

Those of you in the press who feel bad about interviewing the parents of dead children , why not call the NRA spokespeople? Do it NOW. Seriously.

It would be great TV/Radio. What, you think that it would be exploiting the tragedy? No.

When YOU call relatives you are already intruding, you are already exploiting the tragedy (and I know how much you HATE doing it, I would too). Now is the time to exploit the tragedy in a new way that will move the conversation forward with the two groups who are the most involved: The NRA the the Relatives of The Dead.

You are already pushing a view point when you call them. You KNOW that there will be screams for gun control right after this. Why not deal with WHERE the screams come from and WHY.

The people whose JOB it is to keep those screams silenced the rest of the year should deal with the sobbing parents, not you. You can understand. You see the pain. But you aren't the one who is working to ensure this kind of violence keeps happening.

Don't wait. This is raw emotion and I really would like the NRA people to be on air, on camera in the same frame with the people who have dead kids. Have them look into each other's eyes.

NRA spokespeople's job every day is to make sure that these kind of great TV moments are played out over and over again. They have provided you TV people with excellent images and raw emotional interviews for years. Maybe it would be good if they could see what YOU see and talk to the people YOU talk to so that the next time they work to pass a bill, they can remember the look in the eyes of the parents and friends of the dead.

LLAP,
Spocko

Who would Jesus Shoot? (original post)
I didn't complete a project on time last night so I punished myself by listening to our favorite morally repugnant pro-torture "theocon" radio host Brian Sussman.

I find his self proclaimed title as a theocon confusing. I missed the show were he talked about why Jesus was in support of the war in Iraq. I would have listened but I think I would have been afflicted by non-stop projectile vomiting.

One thing that I really would like the leadership of mainstream Christian churches to focus on would be separating themselves from people who claim to represent the values of Christianity. For example, I think most Christian leaders condemn Fred Phelps, (he of the famous "God Hates Fags" campaign). He's a hate-filled nut.

The right asks for the Mullahs to reign in their own crazy, Islamofacists who promote killing. That makes sense, don't you think they should also look at the log in their own eye at "theocons" (Christofacists?) who promote killing? War? Gun ownership? (Wow, would that freak out a few congregations!)

I'm curious, were there a bunch of ministers standing up against the "Kill Bill" that just went into effect in Florida? (Which was hysterically called something like the "Stand your Ground and Don't Run Away like a Girly Man if Anyone Scares You" bill.)

I know the NRA has done a lot of thinking about this. I have to give them credit, they are some of the most well prepared spokesmen on the planet. They have a reasonable sounding argument for every possible challenge to their most extreme rights. I'm sure that twisting Jesus' words into support of their "rights" is on page 2 of their spokesperson's handbook. And I'm sure they have plenty of priests, ministers, and nuns that they can trot out to support them.

Heck, even Spocko KNOWS some gun toting priests. But if pressed, I wonder how many will be behind everyone owning a machine gun? Well that's just what our favorite "theocon" father of five children under the age of 18 believes.

I think it's good Brian Sussman has gone on record with this pro-machine gun views. I also would like him to step forward and reaffirm his views every time children are killed with assault weapons. Better yet it would be swell if he talked to the parents of the dead. Now that would be some great radio! Even better TV! Can you imagine the show? "How are you feeling right now knowing that your daughter was blown away by the totally cool AK-47? Jesus must have really loved your husband to give him the privilege of getting his skull shattered by 12 rounds in rapid succession from a TEC-DC9. What? You aren't happy? Look, the death of your wife is a really small price to pay for the greater right of ours to have cool guns. The sooner you accept that fact the sooner I will be able to look at myself in the mirror."

It would be especially nice if he called up the parents of teen boys who blow their brains out with hand guns found in the home.

It really shouldn't be too hard of a call. "Hey Mom of dead teen, not having those hand guns in the house wouldn't have made any difference. He would have killed himself some other way. You obviously aren't a very responsibly parent if your kid got to your guns and used it. My kids would never do something so stupid. What do you mean you didn't think your kids would either? Well you shouldn't have left them out. Mine are in a safe and my kids don't know the combination. Oh, yours were too? Hmmm. Well I guess your kid is I mean WAS smarter than mine. Well, shit happens. I would say I'd pray for you, but everyone in my Christian community really are for MORE guns and against any kind of heathen gun control. Remember, Jesus said, 'Praise Me and Pass the Ammo!' And besides, only Godless liberals are for limiting guns. Don't look for any pro-gun control comfort from our community. Well have a nice day, there is a cooling front coming in from the north so bundle up!"

Finally, remember folks, if you son or daughter is playing over at the Sussman house, LOOK OUT! You know they've got guns, maybe the Mrs. should show you how safely they are stored. If some of Brian's Kids are in your classroom maybe you should take another look in their backpack! If you are members of Brian's congregation be sure to shake his hand after services and ask him what kind of assault weapon Jesus would be shooting.

Oh and if you are not happy with this kind of fun lovin' gun shooting talk from a Theocon, be sure to alert your favorite KSFO advertiser. Because you KNOW that the machine gun lovers will call the advertisers and tell them they LOVE what Brian is saying.

KSFO Advertisers Pick your favorite and tell 'em how much you appreciate Brian's gun lovin' ways. They have helpfully listed their websites for you to call or write them!

Of if you want to buy some ads on Brian's show be sure to call:

Michael Black, General Sales Manager
415-954-7661
or E-Mail Michael Black at michael.black@abc.com
(Hey look, KSFO is a Family Friendly ABC company! Machine Guns and Mickey go together like landmines and legs!)

Get your "Everything's an assault weapon... you could technically assault somebody with a potato peeler!" talking point ready for pamphleteering or cable access show debates.
- From "9 Tips For Assault Weapons Revelers" by Norbizness. Check out his great site!

Who Would Jesus Shoot?

I didn't complete a project on time last night so I punished myself by listening to our favorite morally repugnant pro-torture "theocon" radio host Brian Sussman.

I find his self proclaimed title as a theocon confusing. I missed the show were he talked about why Jesus was in support of the war in Iraq. I would have listened but I think I would have been afflicted by non-stop projectile vomiting.

One thing that I really would like the leadership of mainstream Christian churches to focus on would be separating themselves from people who claim to represent the values of Christianity. For example, I think most Christian leaders condemn Fred Phelps, (he of the famous "God Hates Fags" campaign). He's a hate-filled nut.

The right asks for the Mullahs to reign in their own crazy, Islamofacists who promote killing. That makes sense, don't you think they should also look at the log in their own eye at "theocons" (Christofacists?) who promote killing? War? Gun ownership? (Wow, would that freak out a few congregations!)

I'm curious, were there a bunch of ministers standing up against the "Kill Bill" that just went into effect in Florida? (Which was hysterically called something like the "Stand your Ground and Don't Run Away like a Girly Man if Anyone Scares You" bill.)

I know the NRA has done a lot of thinking about this. I have to give them credit, they are some of the most well prepared spokesmen on the planet. They have a reasonable sounding argument for every possible challenge to their most extreme rights. I'm sure that twisting Jesus' words into support of their "rights" is on page 2 of their spokesperson's handbook. And I'm sure they have plenty of priests, ministers, and nuns that they can trot out to support them.

Heck, even Spocko KNOWS some gun toting priests. But if pressed, I wonder how many will be behind everyone owning a machine gun? Well that's just what our favorite "theocon" father of five children under the age of 18 believes.

I think it's good Brian Sussman has gone on record with this pro-machine gun views. I also would like him to step forward and reaffirm his views every time children are killed with assault weapons. Better yet it would be swell if he talked to the parents of the dead. Now that would be some great radio! Even better TV! Can you imagine the show? "How are you feeling right now knowing that your daughter was blown away by the totally cool AK-47? Jesus must have really loved your husband to give him the privilege of getting his skull shattered by 12 rounds in rapid succession from a TEC-DC9. What? You aren't happy? Look, the death of your wife is a really small price to pay for the greater right of ours to have cool guns. The sooner you accept that fact the sooner I will be able to look at myself in the mirror."

It would be especially nice if he called up the parents of teen boys who blow their brains out with hand guns found in the home.

It really shouldn't be too hard of a call. "Hey Mom of dead teen, not having those hand guns in the house wouldn't have made any difference. He would have killed himself some other way. You obviously aren't a very responsibly parent if your kid got to your guns and used it. My kids would never do something so stupid. What do you mean you didn't think your kids would either? Well you shouldn't have left them out. Mine are in a safe and my kids don't know the combination. Oh, yours were too? Hmmm. Well I guess your kid is I mean WAS smarter than mine. Well, shit happens. I would say I'd pray for you, but everyone in my Christian community really are for MORE guns and against any kind of heathen gun control. Remember, Jesus said, 'Praise Me and Pass the Ammo!' And besides, only Godless liberals are for limiting guns. Don't look for any pro-gun control comfort from our community. Well have a nice day, there is a cooling front coming in from the north so bundle up!"

Finally, remember folks, if you son or daughter is playing over at the Sussman house, LOOK OUT! You know they've got guns, maybe the Mrs. should show you how safely they are stored. If some of Brian's Kids are in your classroom maybe you should take another look in their backpack! If you are members of Brian's congregation be sure to shake his hand after services and ask him what kind of assault weapon Jesus would be shooting.

Oh and if you are not happy with this kind of fun lovin' gun shooting talk from a Theocon, be sure to alert your favorite KSFO advertiser. Because you KNOW that the machine gun lovers will call the advertisers and tell them they LOVE what Brian is saying.

KSFO Advertisers Pick your favorite and tell 'em how much you appreciate Brian's gun lovin' ways. They have helpfully listed their websites for you to call or write them!

Of if you want to buy some ads on Brian's show be sure to call:

Michael Black, General Sales Manager
415-954-7661
or E-Mail Michael Black at michael.black@abc.com
(Hey look, KSFO is a Family Friendly ABC company! Machine Guns and Mickey go together like landmines and legs!)

Get your "Everything's an assault weapon... you could technically assault somebody with a potato peeler!" talking point ready for pamphleteering or cable access show debates.
- From "9 Tips For Assault Weapons Revelers" by Norbizness. Check out his great site!