Thursday, December 11, 2008

Food is Scary... Scary GOOD!

This is in response to Athenae's post, "Food is Scary"

The best cookbooks are some put together from the high schools or churches.
Hilarious titles and scary ingredients.
Here are a few from the Marian High School "Cooking with Class" cook book first printing 1981 but the recipes are from the alumni and the moms of girls who grew up in the 50's

Oysters on Horseback (Gitty up! yum!)

Hot Crab Hors d'Oeuvres
1/2 cup oleo (Yes that's right, OLEO!)
1 jar Kraft®, Old English cheese spread (You just know that Kraft suggested this one, probably was part of a Good Housekeeping® ad about "Quick seafood treats for the holidays!")
1 1/2 tsp mayonnaise*
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp salt (can't have enough salt!)
1 pkg crab frozen
6 English muffins.

*Mayonnaise, The essential 1950's miracle food! Soon to be renamed Miracle Whip® !
Miracle Whip. Wonder Bread® . Super Sugar Crisp® . 1950's '60's marketing really made the food very EXCITING!

Meatballs in Beer (Hmmmm, meatball beer....)

LuLu Paste (First, call your friend LuLu...)

Cucumber Lime Jello Salad
Ingredients: Lime Jello, mayonnaise*, cottage cheese, onion, celery
"Five Great Tastes that Taste great Together!"

*What salad is complete without mayonnaise?

Sauerkraut Salad "Ve have vays of making you eat it!"

Lickin' Good Salad
Ingredients: Lemon Jello, cream cheese, whipping cream, crushed pineapple, nuts, green peppers, maraschino cherries
Great for the Holidays!
(They don't say what you will be lickin' after eating it. I'm thinking a Popsicle® brand Popsicle to get the taste of this salad out of your mouth.)

Overnight 7 Layer Salad
Ingredients: 2 heads lettuce, celery, green pepper, hard boiled eggs, onions, cucumber, water chestnuts, frozen peas, bacon, 2 cups mayonnaise*, 2 T Sugar Canned milk, 1 cup grated cheese.)
Actual directions: Refrigerate overnight. Toss before serving.
(I think I really WOULD Toss it before serving, thanks for the tip!)

*There it is again! I'll bet you could also use Miracle Whip.

And remember, this was in the Midwest were you couldn't get any fresh vegetables, everything was CANNED. What do you do when someone says, "Bring a vegetable dish"? Get out the can opener!

Vegetable Casserole

1 can green beans
1 can sliced carrots
1 can sliced water chestnuts
1 can wax beans*
1 can mushrooms
1 can cheddar cheese soup
1 can cream of mushroom soup.
Place in Casserole dish. Bake at 350 till hot. about 25 minutes.
*Wax beans? What? Do regular beans have too much flavor? Too colorful?
(Open 7 cans and you are 25 minutes away from a hearty healthy heavenly dinner. Even faster if you have an electric can opener!)

Your Secret Flavoring
(I'm not going to tell you what's in it. It's a SECRET! But if you want to know, it's on p. 157. Hint, it begins with an "M".)

Jello Cake
White cake mix, jello, water, top with either Dream Whip® OR Cool Whip®
(It appears the "Whip" is the necessary part of the topping. I'm surprised there was no call for Miracle Whip.)

Eggless, Butterless, Milkless Cake
Guess what the secret ingredient is?
13 tablespoons of lard. (I'll bet you thought the secret ingredient was mayonnaise. WRONG! But good guess.)

"Flavorless? Hardly!"


Blogger David Aquarius said...

In my stint in the Navy, I had the opportunity to sample a lot of the scary things in Asia that Bourdain has. I've also eaten game from squirrel and possum to bear, moose and caribou. I've even eaten Balut... please, don't make me describe it.

But there is nothing on the great green planet as disgusting and vile as Miracle Whip!

3:45 PM  
Blogger Spocko said...

But Dave, it is a MIRACLE!
I'll bet if you look close enough you can find an image of the Virgin Mary in it!

Thanks for stopping by!

5:18 PM  
Blogger Auntie Meme said...

When I was a wee tyke, my favorite sandwich was the delicious white bread + Miracle Whip + velveeta cheese. It doesn't get more homogenized middle american white people than that.

6:33 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

Cream of mushroom soup is the second most important ingredient in early 1960's cookery. ;)

1:34 PM  
Blogger Barb said...

Hey, these recipes are GREAT! Thanks for posting these recipes. ;-)

2:26 PM  
Blogger spocko said...


Barb. I have a sneaking suspicion that you are the proud owner of the EXACT SAME COOKBOOK!

I was going to use a more personal one that I have, but I actually DO like those.

5:28 PM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Hard to imagine an entire generation was raised on jello, mayo and canned cream soups lovingly prepared by stay at home moms wearing high heels and pearls and a frilly half apron.

But the truly important of the era was Wonderbread or Sunbeam? I was a Sunbeam girl myself.

8:50 AM  
Blogger Interrobang said...

Miracle Whip and mayonnaise aren't the same thing. Mayonnaise is the stuff you eat if you like the taste of eggs (and/or are fond of sucking on used maxi-pads) and don't mind that the stuff you're putting on your sandwiches contains enough fat to stun an overweight elephant. See also that vile, semen-like concoction known as Hellmans.

Miracle Whip, on the other hand, belongs to the family of "salad dressings," which are mayonnaise-like foodstuffs made primarily of egg white, vegetable oil, and vinegar. I recommend the low-fat variety, personally.

1:20 PM  

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