Thursday, March 22, 2007

Newt Hates Bureaucracy! Stop the Presses!

So the day after I write a love note to the GAO, Newt Gingrich asks the musical question, "Could our bureaucracy be our own worse enemy in the war on terrorism?"

Newt's opinion piece is a load of sehlat droppings. The answer to your question Newt? OUR Bureaucracy is not the problem --it's YOUR bureaucracy that stinks. I'll call it The Newtocracy.

Newt isn't stupid, he knows that when most Americans hear the word "bureaucracy" they instantly think of their most negative experience with a bureaucracy and think, "Yep, they are ALL terrible, that's the problem." I'm sure Newt and Frank Luntz focus tested this idea and word, "What do Americans hate Frank? Can I associate myself with fighting it?"

Frank and Newt know that people won't think about the GOOD experiences they have had with bureaucracies, like checks arriving on time month after month, year after year, or the folks that keep the first responders responding or, the good watchdog groups like the GAO who are doing kick-ass work busting political cronies who ARE the problem.

Why do I care about the good, hard-working government organizations? Because dedicated public servants are NOT partisan workers. Often they are the only ones really tasked with protecting the taxpayers from PEOPLE LIKE NEWT. It is people like NEWT who set the policies, that spend the money, that destroy the infrastructure in the countries that Bush attacks.

Neocons like Newt, when given a chance, avoid official bureaucracies.Why? Because they will get caught with their hand in the money drawer if the government watchdogs are still in place. Newt knows that seeing these people as financial heroes is bad for him and the neocons, so he sets them up as the dreaded "bureaucracies".

Newt (and the Bush administration) want incompetent political cronies in charge. They want Newtocracies.
Want an excellent example? Read this story about the 20-somethings from the hard right group, the Heritage Foundation, who were put in charge of the CPA's budget office in Iraq. (WaPo Link)

But none had ever worked in the Middle East, none spoke Arabic, and few could tell a balance sheet from an accounts receivable statement.
They were "put in positions of authority that they had no clue about".
That is a Newtocracy. To envision one, associate your worst experience with a bureaucracy and then combine it with incompetent political cronies.

Newt's opinion piece contains the kind of reasoning and linguistic tricks that Rush Limbaugh uses every day. It is both powerful and subtle. But I'm sick of people praising the right for, "how good they are at this stuff." It's pretty transparent when you examine it. "Your seams are showing Frank and Newt!"

The only people who are still buying what you are selling Frank and Newt, are the talk radio hosts. They are the highly paid, highly-placed folks in the Newtocracies. The Democratic party has subpoena power now. And WHO will be doing the work to reveal the evidence to convict the incompetent political cronies that Bush installed? The bureaucrats in the bureaucracies you hate so much.

Newtocracies? Hate 'em.

Hard working people in government, watching my money and helping me out (sometimes called bureaucrats)? Love 'em.

Keep up your good work folks. I appreciate it.


Eli said...

I believe that Republicans only want to shrink the parts of government that don't benefit them personally.

Like, the safety net. *Everyone* hates the safety net, what with all the welfare queens and old people and sick people trying to rip all of us hard-working rich white Americans off...

7:00 PM  
Rafael said...

More than that is a plan to A. Militarize the government and B. a transformation of said government into an unstoppable Imperial machine, designed to win wars and maintain the Empire at all cost. This man is not running for the office of First Public Servant, but for the title of First Citizen, the first Dictator, the First Caesar of the Amerikan Empire.

7:13 PM  
Interrobang said...

There is a reason I often refer to "the Beneficent State," which I only do semi-ironically. For all that you get kicked around and put upon when you're a welfare or unemployment insurance recipient, I'm damn glad that stuff is there. Being Canadian, I also love my provincial health insurance. I also got a government grant to start my own business -- $13 000 from the government. Well, it took me about a year to get my business off the ground, but I'm financially independent now, and my business is doing well, for a definition of "well" that means that my bank account is growing (if slowly) and my bills are getting paid. I'm a long way from rich, and still in debt more than I'm worth, but it's a start.

I have to thank the bureaucrats for that.

1:29 AM  
Ripley said...

The gov't exists for the benefit of the Military Industrial Complex and the Energy Industry, not the hoi polloi.

Most people wouldn't give a tinker's damn about bureaucracy if they didn't have to pay taxes - and that's what this is really about, esp. in the trippy world that Republicans inhabit.

Personally, I'm not that concerned with the size of the gov't., as long as they stay out of my personal affairs and the systems are set up to be as effective and efficient as possible. Sure, there's room for improvement and updating the systems, but I'd rather have a bureaucracy than the corrupt, cronyistic Republican circle jerk we've been living under the last six years.

5:08 AM  
Metro said...

What unholy ritual brought Newt forth from his political sepulchre anyway? If he's the new hope of conservatism in the US, then the rise of the Great Old Ones is surely at hand!

A man who prated on about America's Lost Morality who presented his wife with divorce papers as she lay in a hospital bed recovering from cancer surgery.

Someone stuff him back under the mossy rock he crawled out from under. Excessive force may not be necessary, but feel free to apply it.

I'd suggest a stake through his heart, but liquid helium pumps aren't vulnerable to stakes.

When Newt speaks of shrinking the beauracracy, I'd cover my ears, wallet and gonads.

10:24 AM  
¬°El Gato Negro! said...

Newt ees just aching for a leetle "face-time" weeth Becky the Calico.


3:42 PM  
Commander Ogg said...

Movement conservatives war against the Government started in 1980 when that clueless idiot Ronald Reagan convinced the nation that the nine most dangerous words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

As Mr. Spocko said, a load of sehlat droppings. Bidness or Government, all that matters is: Can they run the Joint?

Manage it well, and you get Buffet's Berkshire/Hathaway or Witts FEMA.

Manage it poorly and you get "Kenny Boy" Lay or "Heckuva Job" Brownie

11:34 AM  
spocko said...

Commander Ogg. That's a GREAT point and a good link on Huffington post.

I think about who is constantly pushing these ideas and why? If we look at the Government at a brand, they are trying to associate the worst possible experiences people have as the government's "fault".

When government works great? Well then it must be destroyed so that private enterprise can benefit like they tried to do with Social Security.

8:18 PM  
shrimplate said...

They're really not that clever. Newt's doing the ol' bait 'n' switch. Sell them the sizzle, deliver the grizzle.

Unfortunately it sometimes works, but fortunately it's getting old. Real old. And people are sick of it.

We've had more than enough of this crap.

11:36 PM  

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