Monday, February 12, 2007

Comedy Break: Spocko Laughs WITH Wil Weaton

I just read a hilarious review of an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. The title was, The Battle. It's was the one with Picard getting the Stargazer back from the Ferengi as a trick.

Wil Weaton wrote the piece and it is laugh-out-loud funny. I've been a fan of Wil's writing (both serious and funny stuff) for years. With this piece he approaches Dave Barry territory. (I'm not making this up!) Here are a couple of 'graphs from the review, but read the whole thing. It really is fun. Oh and warning he uses a DIRTY word here so I hope the Catholic League doesn't bust him.(link)

Back on the Bridge, Riker takes possession of the Stargazer from the Ferengi, and Picard continues to complain about his headache. He gives control of the Bridge to Riker and leaves. Riker looks at Troi and very seriously asks what's wrong with his captain. Oh! Cool! We're finally going to get to see Troi use her Betazoid abilities to tell us something more intriguing than "Pain! Pain!" This will be the moment when Troi transitions from useless one dimensional plot device into a real character! What's she going to say?!

The camera dramatically pushes in on her, as she looks at Riker and quietly says . . . "I wish I could say."

WHAT?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Why doesn't she just say "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!" Can someone please tell me why the creators would give Troi the power to divine emotions and help guide people through situations exactly like this one, only to have her do nothing when the situation arises? Honestly. This is like signing a .380 pinch hitter, putting him into game 5 of the playoffs with the bases loaded, down by two, and refusing to let him swing the bat. (If you're keeping score in this episode, the Writers are 0-2, and the Actors are 3-3. I'd also like to point to this moment as an example of why Trekkies should have trained their phasers on the writing staff, and not on us actors.)

In his quarters, Picard grabs a little sack time and climbs Jacob's Ladder as he remembers the Battle of Maxia. Meanwhile, in the Ready Room, Data tells Riker that Picard's personal account of the battle differs greatly from the official version, and it doesn't look pretty for Picard: according to his personal logs, the ship he destroyed was flying a flag of truce, the fire on the Stargazer was an accident, there were no WMDs, new Coke was his idea, it was a load-bearing flask, they're going to need a new boat, Soylent Green is people, and the Frogurt was also cursed.

h/t to alert eviloverlord Nevin

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coho said...

Hiya, Spocko!

Cool. I've never laughed WITH Wil Wheaton before...first time for everything.

9:37 AM  
CmdrSue said...

Jesus! Picard came up with New Coke? I can forgive a lot, but that's asking too much!

Yeah, Wil turned cool on us. I've got "Dancing Barefoot" and "Just a Geek" on the shelf next to my bed. I got an email response from him a few years back that I was going to bronze and put with my Star Trek collection, but now I think it needs to go with my Wil Wheaton collection. He's much more than just Trek.

6:49 PM  
BJ said...

Hi! I thought you and your readers might be interested in some post-Easter news about Pope Benedict XVI...
The Pope's car is being auctioned off to raise money for Habitat for Humanity:
The bidding is already more than $200,000! Personally, I think this is a really fun and creative way to raise
money. The auction goes until April 14th if you and your readers want to check it out.

11:09 AM  

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